Dealing with Hurt and Loss

Family and friends, I must warn you that today’s post will different. Most of the time on God’s Successful Marriage we focus on communication, love in action, and the daily choices that strengthen our relationships. But life brings moments that are hard to prepare for—moments of deep hurt and loss. I recently lost a good friend to an accident, and the grief has been difficult to carry.

Loss is something we often avoid talking about until it happens, yet it touches every life. Whether it’s the loss of a friend, a family member, or another painful separation, the feelings are real. Grief can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even isolating. And that’s okay. Having these feelings does not mean we are weak. It means we are human.

But here is something important to remember: while grief is real, it does not have to become our identity. Studies on grief, such as those following the five stages of grief model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance), show that while grief changes us, it is also a process of moving forward (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2005). Many people also experience what psychologists call resilient grief—where, even in pain, individuals find ways to adapt and continue with meaning and hope (Bonanno, 2004).

Still, no study can fully capture the ache of loss. Sometimes what we need most is to talk with someone we trust—a spouse, a pastor, a close friend. Scripture reminds us not to carry burdens alone: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2, NIV). Talking to someone does not mean you are weak or “wimpy.” In fact, it’s a courageous step toward healing.

God’s Word also gives comfort when we don’t know how to move forward.

• “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, NIV).

• “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4, NIV).

• “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain” (Revelation 21:4, NIV).

In moments of loss, we cling to the hope of Jesus Christ. He understands our pain—He wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus (John 11:35). Yet He also offers resurrection hope: that death is not the end, and that life in Him is eternal.

If you are struggling with hurt and loss today, please know: your feelings are valid. It’s okay to mourn, to cry, and to grieve. But also know you are not alone. Reach out. Talk to someone. Lean into the comfort of God’s promises. There is hope beyond the hurt, and life beyond the loss.