Overcoming Holiday Stress as a Team Instead of Opponents
For many couples, Christmas brings beauty, warmth, and joy — but it also brings something less pleasant: stress. Schedules get tight. Money gets stretched. Expectations rise. Families gather (sometimes with tension). And in all of this, two people who dearly love each other can suddenly feel like they are standing on opposite sides instead of the same team.
But God designed marriage to be a covenant of unity — not competition, not combat, not comparison.
The Christmas season is meant to be a celebration of “peace on earth” (Luke 2:14), yet internal pressure can steal that peace quickly. When couples learn to face holiday stress together, they reflect the love, patience, and humility modeled by Christ Himself.
---
🎄 The Real Sources of Christmas Stress
Holiday stress is not sinful — it is human. But it becomes damaging when couples allow external pressures to create internal division. Common areas of tension include:
Financial strain
Busy schedules and travel
Family expectations or conflicts
Gift pressure and comparison
Household responsibilities
Emotional fatigue or seasonal sadness
When stress rises, communication often breaks down. Misinterpretations multiply. Small annoyances feel big. But Scripture gives us tools to reconnect and rebuild unity, especially in seasons of pressure.
---
🌿 1. Choose Peace When Anxiety Rises
Paul writes:
> “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”
— Philippians 4:6–7
The peace that God promises here isn’t the absence of stress — it’s the presence of Christ in the stress.
For couples, that means:
Pray together when anxiety hits.
Verbalize what is overwhelming you.
Replace assumptions with explanations.
Invite God into the chaos.
As Max Lucado writes in Anxious for Nothing (2017):
> “The presence of anxiety is unavoidable, but the prison of anxiety is optional.”
---
⭐ 2. Put On Patience and Compassion
Holiday irritations can escalate quickly, but Scripture calls us to something higher:
> “Put on therefore…mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
forbearing one another, and forgiving one another…
and above all these things put on charity.”
— Colossians 3:12–14
These verses read like a marriage survival guide for December.
For couples, this looks like:
Giving grace when your spouse is tired or overwhelmed
Responding with gentleness rather than sharpness
Apologizing quickly
Covering each other rather than correcting each other
Choosing love even when emotions feel heavy
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, in Love & Respect (2004), notes that couples often react out of stress rather than sin:
> “Not wrong—just different. Not bad—just stressed.”
Understanding this truth helps couples stay united instead of offended.
---
🎁 3. Plan Together Instead of Letting the Season Plan You
Much holiday tension comes from unspoken expectations.
Healthy couples get ahead of this by communicating early and clearly.
Try this:
Make a budget together
Review the calendar together
Discuss family visits and boundaries
Agree on what matters most — and what can be simplified
Protect evenings for rest and reconnection
Focus on the Family regularly emphasizes the value of unified planning:
> “Shared expectations reduce conflict and increase connection.”
(Focus on the Family, Marriage & Holidays, article archive)
Unity doesn’t happen by accident — it happens by intention.
---
🕯 4. Slow Down Enough to Notice Each Other
When Joseph and Mary traveled to Bethlehem, nothing about their circumstances was easy. Yet they stayed united because they stayed focused on God’s purpose rather than the pressure around them.
Christmas invites couples to do the same.
Build simple rhythms:
A quiet walk together
Lighting Advent candles
Reading Luke 2 before bed
A no-phones dinner once a week
A nightly prayer of thanksgiving
These practices invite Christ’s peace back into the marriage.
Elisabeth Elliot famously wrote:
> “The gift of love grows only where there is time to listen.”
(Discipline: The Glad Surrender, 1982)
Slow down. Listen. Notice your spouse again.
---
❤️ 5. Remember: You Are Teammates, Not Opponents
Holiday stress can turn “you and me” into “me versus you.”
But marriage was never designed that way.
Jesus taught unity when He prayed:
> “…that they may be one, even as We are one.”
— John 17:22
If Christ desires unity in the church, He certainly desires unity in marriage.
A practical phrase couples can use during tense moments is this:
“Same team.”
Say it out loud.
Say it kindly.
Say it as a reminder of the covenant you share.
---
🎄 A Christmas Prayer for Stressed Couples
“Lord, help us face this season together instead of apart.
Give us patience when we feel overwhelmed, tenderness when we feel tired,
and unity when pressure tries to divide us.
Teach us to love each other the way You have loved us —
with grace, sacrifice, and peace.
Center our home around Christ this Christmas.
Amen.”
---
📚 Biblical References for this blog:
Scripture:
Philippians 4:6–7
Colossians 3:12–14
Luke 2:14
John 17:22
Proverbs 15:1
Comments
Post a Comment