Spiritual Intimacy: Praying With My Spouse When It Feels Awkward

Spiritual Intimacy: Praying With My Spouse When It Feels Awkward

One of the most common struggles in Christian marriage isn’t whether couples believe in prayer—it’s whether they feel comfortable praying together. Ironically, many couples will pray privately with confidence yet feel awkward, vulnerable, or even embarrassed praying out loud with the person they share a bed with. If that’s you, you’re not broken—and your marriage isn’t failing. You’re simply stepping into spiritual intimacy, and intimacy always requires vulnerability.

Why Praying Together Feels So Awkward

Praying with your spouse feels different because it is different.

Prayer exposes:

Our fears
Our doubts
Our shortcomings
Our true dependence on God

When you pray with your spouse, you’re not just talking to God—you’re letting your spouse hear your heart.

Many couples have shared (and we’ve discussed this before) that:

One spouse feels “less spiritual”
One worries they won’t “pray the right way”
One fears sounding foolish or repetitive
One feels exposed sharing struggles out loud
These feelings don’t indicate weakness. They indicate honesty. “The LORD is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.” — Psalm 145:18 God isn’t asking for eloquence. He’s asking for truth.

Spiritual Intimacy Is Built, Not Assumed

We often assume spiritual intimacy should come naturally in marriage—especially Christian marriage. But Scripture shows us something different. “Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” — James 5:16

Notice the order:

Vulnerability
Prayer
Healing

Spiritual intimacy doesn’t begin with confidence. It begins with obedience, even when it feels uncomfortable. Just like emotional intimacy grows through honest conversations and physical intimacy grows through trust, spiritual intimacy grows through shared surrender.

When One Spouse Is Hesitant

In many marriages, one spouse is ready to pray together while the other resists. This can lead to frustration, guilt, or pressure. Here’s what we’ve learned through real life, counseling conversations, and testimonies:

Pressure shuts hearts down
Gentleness opens doors
Consistency builds safety

“Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…” — 1 Peter 3:7. Spiritual leadership doesn’t mean forcing prayer—it means modeling humility. Sometimes spiritual leadership sounds like:

“Can I pray for us real quick?”
“I don’t know what to say, but I want to try.”
“Would you mind if I just thank God for today?”

Short prayers count. Awkward prayers count. Even silent prayers count. Small Steps That Matter More Than You Think. You don’t need hour-long prayer sessions to build spiritual intimacy.

Here are realistic, sustainable ways couples begin:

Holding hands for a 30-second prayer before bed
Thanking God together before meals at home
Praying for one specific need, not everything
Letting one spouse pray while the other listens
Ending arguments with a short prayer—even through tears

“For where two or three are gathered in My name, there am I among them.” — Matthew 18:20
God honors presence, not perfection. 

When Prayer Changes the Marriage Before It Changes the Situation

Many couples expect prayer to fix circumstances. What often happens instead is prayer reshapes hearts. Through praying together, couples begin to:

Speak more gently
Listen more carefully
Forgive more quickly
Feel less alone spiritually

We’ve seen it personally and in countless marriages:

Prayer doesn’t always remove the storm—but it unites the couple standing in it. “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” — Ecclesiastes 4:12. Marriage was never meant to be two people pulling alone. God is not a bonus strand—He is the strength.

If You’ve Never Prayed Together Before

Start today—but start small. You don’t need a script. You don’t need perfect words. You don’t need confidence. You only need willingness. God meets couples exactly where they are—not where they think they should be.

A Prayer for Couples Struggling With Spiritual Intimacy

Heavenly Father,
We come to You knowing that prayer feels uncomfortable at times. We confess our fears, our insecurities, and our hesitations. Teach us that intimacy with You and with each other begins with honesty, not perfection. Give us courage to take small steps. Give us grace when words are hard to find.nBind our hearts together as we seek You—not just individually, but as one.
Help our marriage reflect Your love, Your patience, and Your faithfulness. We invite You into the quiet moments, the awkward moments, and even the broken ones.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Our Story - Looking At My Own Marriage

Image
 Marriage is beautiful—but let’s be honest—it’s also messy, complicated, and downright hard sometimes. My wife and I have been married for over 30 years , and while that sounds like an accomplishment (and it is), those three decades weren’t all candlelit dinners and weekend getaways. We married young— 18 and 20 . I was a Marine and statistically speaking, we had a few things stacked against us from day one: young marriage, military life, low finances. We almost didn’t make it through the first year. We were married on a Saturday, and by Monday, I was back on base. A few weeks later, I was assigned to a new duty station, and it wasn’t until four months into our marriage that we finally moved in together. Just three months after that, we were already in trouble—still strangers to each other in many ways, fighting over bills and wondering if we had made a mistake. On a Monday morning, we were ready to call lawyers. But God had other plans. A Marine buddy must have sensed somethin...
Read more

When Pain Didn’t Leave, but Joy Still Showed Up

Image
  When Pain Didn’t Leave, but Joy Still Showed Up I didn’t wake up healed. The pain was still there. The anxiety. The depression. The moral injury. The numbness. PTSD hadn’t gone anywhere. Nothing about my life suddenly became easier. And yet, on that day—at an amusement park with my wife and my 17-year-old daughter—I still had a good day. That alone felt worth paying attention to. Joy Without Conditions I wasn’t chasing happiness. I wasn’t trying to “make the most of it.” I wasn’t pretending things were okay. I was just present. For once, I wasn’t replaying the past or bracing for the future. I wasn’t fixing myself, explaining myself, or carrying everything else I’ve been holding. I was walking. Laughing. Standing in lines. Watching my daughter smile. Holding my wife’s hand. And somewhere in the middle of all that, joy showed up—uninvited, unexpected, and unearned. Scripture tells us: “Though sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning.” — Psalm 30...
Read more

The Power of Blessing Your Spouse With Words

Image
  Early in marriage, encouragement comes naturally. Newly married couples often speak admiration freely. Compliments come easily. Gratitude is expressed often. There is excitement in discovering the good qualities in the person you married. But over time, something subtle happens in many marriages. Life becomes busy. Responsibilities increase. Children arrive. Work schedules tighten. Bills need to be paid. Stress has a way of crowding the margins of daily life. Slowly, encouragement begins to fade from everyday conversation. It usually isn’t replaced with hostility. Instead, it is often replaced with silence. Yet Scripture reminds us that words carry tremendous power , especially within marriage. Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” (KJV) The Bible repeatedly teaches that our words shape the environment around us. Nowhere is that more evident than within the home. Your spouse hears your voice more than ...
Read more